in the evening, after being stuck on the elevator for 3 minutes

[horsie]

WE'VE BEEN TRAPPED IN THIS FUCKING ELEVATOR FOREVER AND NOBODY IS RESPONDING TO THE ALARM BUTTON!!

SOMEBODY GO GET THE MANAGER!!

[added after this]

THE GIANT GHOST MAN IS FINALLY HERE

Comments

[hugogogadget]

Yea, I'm hoping lean muscles and adrenaline will save the day.

Should we organise a volunteer firefighter unit for the building? An elite group of residents who can climb ladders, pole, and ropes? Who are proficient at rescuing cats? Who are comfortable using a hose or saying Aguamenti in an authoritative tone? Who do a calendar photoshoot and use its proceeds to help a local charity in need?

[corriespondence]

Mate I just want to be able to escape from any situation.

[hugogogadget]

I'm beginning to sense a pattern. Always have an exit plan handy.

At the risk of getting too personal, you get trapped in a well as a kid or something?

[corriespondence]

Ummm no?

I just wanna be able to do cool things without dying over it is all.

[hugogogadget]

My bad! I should've listened to Occam and his razor. "Simplest explanation is usually the right one," and all that.

I guess if you're gonna die though, better it be doing something cool than something decidedly uncool.

[corriespondence]

I mean mostly I'd rather it's non painless, but yeah, I guess I don't want to get like... accidentally snorted up by a giant or something.

[hugogogadget]

When I was eight I was terrified of slipping in the shower so I only took baths.

[corriespondence]

Couldn't you still slip like, getting out of the bath?

[hugogogadget]

Hey, if I could talk to 8-year old Hugo I'd tell him A LOT of stuff, including pointing out some rather manhole-sized gaps in his logic.

Oh yeah, I was really worried about falling down manholes.

[corriespondence]

I mean that's valid though, it happens all the time in cartoons. But how many people do you know in real life who've fallen in a sewer? It's like quicksand or lava rivers.

[hugogogadget]

I know zero personally. But what a fool I'd look like if I were the first?

[corriespondence]

I reckon you'd just look like someone in a freak accident, not a fool so much. No one really calls Wilfred Elphick or Chauncey Oldridge dumb for stuff that just happened to them.

[hugogogadget]

I'm sorry. Who and who?

[corriespondence]

On the chocolate frog cards, you know. Elphick's the bloke who got gored by an erumpent and Oldridge is the dragonpox one.

[hugogogadget]

Riiiiight. That's tough. Well, should you tragically get snorted up a giant's nose, I'll petition to get you on a chocolate frog card, too. You'll be immortal. Your memory, at least.

[corriespondence]

I 100% forgot I said that

But basically it's one thing if it happens to you and another if it happens to me, okay I'm admitting it I'm a hypocrite

[hugogogadget]

That's allowed! Just happy to have it in writing.